Picture of a judge's wigThe Judge RANTS!Picture of a judge's wig

Date: 02/12/04

Netting The Serf

Sometimes, it's most refreshing to see how some grand old ways are being maintained.

When our National Assembly of the Toothless was set up some five years ago, some dyed-in-the-wool types were worried by the possibility that it could mark the end of our country's finest traditions.

They needn't have been concerned, certainly judging by what happened on the floor of the chamber on Wednesday.

During the debate on the 'Queen''s Speech, Assembly Member Leanne Wood referred to the alleged head-of-state as "Mrs. Windsor".

Shock! Horror! Elected Politician Shows Disrespect For Unelected Parasite Shock!

But never mind, all you monarchists! Be of stout heart, for a gallant hero rode forth to defend the honour of her majesty!

Step forward Leighton Andrews, the Labour AM for Rhondda. Into the fray he charged, fearing for nought but his invitation to the next Buck House garden party. This was the telling thrust of his question to Presiding Officer Dafydd ('Lord') Elis-Thomas:

"I'm sure that in a week when the Queen has been in Cardiff to open the Wales Millennium Centre my constituents will see that remark as childish and offensive and I'm sure many others will too."

Aren't you just in awe of the man's courage? Don't you marvel at his fortitude and strength of character? Aren't you just deafened by the sound of his hands wringing, Uriah Heep fashion?

E-T, himself a self-proclaimed socialist who nevertheless grabbed the chance to join that unelectable clique of the has-beens and never-weres called the 'House Of Lords', naturally concurred, and ordered Ms Wood to withdraw the remark.

When the brazen hussy decided to stand on principle and declined to do so, His Lordship ordered her out of the chamber.

(See the BBC report here)

How wonderful to see that, in this at least, the Labour Party is sticking to its true beliefs. Even though it has turned its back on the very notion of economic justice, rushed to privatise anything it can get away with selling, and joined in an illegal war for an ignoble end, it's heartening to see that it still stays faithful to the old ways of the likes of George Thomas, that spoiled Mam's boy from Tonypandy, whose obsequious dangling from the arse-end of the English aristocracy was an object lesson in how to get to the top without having to sell anything other than your soul.

Preferment can surely not be long delayed. How soon before we hear "Arise, Sir Leighton"?

Yes, arise, Sir Leighton: arise from your cheap, lickspittle existence and stand for something other than your own desire for puerile publicity. The people of Rhondda deserve better, particularly when faced with multiple attacks on what little remains of their well-being by your benighted neo-Thatcherite leaders.

(The only thing Leanne Wood might have been guilty of was an error in nomenclature. She isn't 'Mrs Windsor', of course. She is, in fact, Mrs. Mountbatten, having married a Danish gigolo some years ago. Or rather, if we are to be historically accurate, Mrs. Saxe-Coburg-Gotha von Battenburg).

To end with, a short quiz. Study the two pictures below. One is of Mr Leighton Andrews AM. The other is of a toad. Which is which?

Picture of a toadPicture of a toady

(I do apologise for making this so difficult).