Not A Blog Archive 2003
A Minor Tweak
There's now a map available from the
Pictures page to show you where each picture was taken from. I thought
it might help, that's all...
More Scenes
I've got some more pictures (thanks, Bruv!). I'll put them up as
soon as I've got the time.
Scenes From A Village
I've put those pictures up now. They're here.
Snap!
I've been scanning some old photographs onto disc. I'll put some up
on the site soon.
A Small Offence
A man who was charged with indecent exposure for beginning a naked
walk from Land's End to John O'Groats has just has the case dismissed
due to 'insufficient evidence'.
I think that's about the biggest insult imaginable.
Hotel Parodies....So?
I very rarely get creative ideas. You may have noticed.
My period of maximum inventiveness was between the ages of 16 and
22. After that, my creativity seems to have emigrated.
Just occasionally, though, the odd part of my decaying mind fires
into activity.
Back in the Spring of this year, just as the illegal invasion of
Iraq was starting, I woke up one Sunday morning with a
almost-fully-formed parody in my head. It was quite a scary feeling.
I put it out on Usenet (most notably alt.fan.pratchett and later on
rec.music.dementia), and even sent it to Dr. Demento, possibly in the hope
that someone would want to record it, and I could quit my day
job. Then someone said that he seemed to remember someone doing
something quite similar at the time of the first Gulf War. As I
don't have the resources for a copyright battle, I withdrew it from the
market. Nonetheless, you can read it here.
Then, back in early June, as I was indulging an another desperate
attempt to subdue the garden (a doomed enterprise at the best of
times), I was leaning on my rake when I saw a white pick-up truck go
by. On the side of it, it said:
G&S
LANDSCAPING
For a few moments, I wondered idly what Gilbert & Sullivan
would have done if they'd had a gardening business on the side. Then it
came to me. You can read that here.
Come To Spelcheckia!
A sort of fiction. Click here for an
explanation.
Funny Hair
I've just seen an ad in our local weekly rag for 'Picasso Hair
Studio'.
Worrying...
Injustices Of Society (#1 in an occasional series)
"There's people who can't spell "weird" right
Driving round with thousands in the bank."
(Nigel Blackwell, Half
Man Half Biscuit, "Turned Up, Clocked On, Laid Off")
Announcement (Part Two)
In the brief few days of its existence, this site has had more
facelifts than Nancy Reagan. The latest ones have now been made. I
can't guarantee that they'll be the last, or even the last this
month.
The main change is probably on the title page. Having a quick
Google one evening (they can't stop you if you close the curtains
first), I found so many sites written or contributed to by sick,
misguided individuals calling themselves 'Judge Mental' that I
realised that the joke had worn very thin.
So, in accordance with the fact that so much of this site has
already been stripped down, I decided to revert to the basic title of 'The
Judge', which is how I am known to those who...erm...well, those
who know me.
Keep In Touch
"PRINCE ADMITS TALKING TO VEGETABLES"
I think it's very important for us all to keep in touch with our
families, don't you?
Announcement
I asked some people who tend to know what they're talking about to
give an opinion on the design of this site (and its partner at www.ybarnwr.me.uk).
I was slightly taken aback by the negative reaction to some
aspects, but I have (as they say in management-speak) 'taken them on
board'. That is to say, I'll pick and choose which ones to act upon.
What changes I intend making will be carried out in the next few
days. Thanks to all those who have already commented.
Signs Of The Times
Have you ever had the urge to amend signs and notices in public
places?
I was in the town centre on Thursday morning and saw two which just
cried out for adjustment.
One was a poster in the window of an optician's. It showed one of
those very smart, glossy young women (of the type who seem to be
running the world these days), with the slogan:
"I got three pairs of glasses, and only paid for one
of them"
Please tell me I'm not the only one who wanted to add:
"My court case is next Wednesday".
Another one was a simple name-plate on a very plain and unadorned
wooden entrance. It said:
BRIGHT HOUSE
I can't tell you how difficult it was to resist the temptation to
add:
VERY DULL DOOR
